The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country’s barely elected despot.

Mohammed bin Salman has taken some time off from bombing Yemeni babies and stoning women to death for having vaginas to visit the UK for three days.

The Crown Prince said ties with Great Britain had meant that they had been able to more accurately bomb the “living shit” out of already dirt poor Yemeni children and goat farmers thanks to all the fighter aircraft “and guns and shit” that Theresa May had sold them, along with the what remained of her soul.

Jam enthusiast and professional political ambulance chaser Jeremy “hear me now” Corbyn accused the government and Theresa May of personally bringing down the twin towers, the 1842 Staffordshire Pottery Riots and “whatever is going on in the Yemen” before going back to his allotment shed to read Bertolt Brecht plays in German by the light of a lonely candle.

The 32-year-old crown prince, seen by some as a plonker in a medieval dress who has more money than sense and a terrible, terrible beard, held talks with Mrs May and the shower of shits she calls cabinet ministers ahead of a summit at Chequers on Thursday.

He is believed to have suggested that women be allowed to drive in the UK and that the Government stop starving people to death.

All perfectly reasonable demands.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.