A leather jacket being worn by an overweight middle-aged northern bloke is utterly failing to make him look cool.

Steve Dickinson’s faux vintage black leather biker jacket from Superdry is supposed to make him look “a bit like Steve McQueen” but in reality makes him look like a “bit of a berk” according to sources.

Dickinson said: “Leather jackets are the epitome of “cool”. Everybody knows that. David Beckham wears one all the time and he’s about my age. I’m thinking about getting a neck tattoo too.”

“I’ve had loads of comments about how much I look like a celebrity or a professional motorbike racer. Admittedly the comments are usually accompanied by pointing and laughter.”

“I really like my jacket. Who knew that Superdry stocked XXXL slim fit biker jackets? They look great with my skinny jeans, they do those in a 42 inch waist too. The effect is quite striking.”

A petition to ban Steve from Rochdale town centre in his skinny jeans has reached 40,000 signatures.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.