Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit polls in the General Election by saying it isn’t all bad news because they’d held on to their Question Time seat.

“I’m a bit gutted, to be honest.” Mr Fromage replied, taking a moment out from reading “The Idiot’s Guide To Elections”.

“What with the government under Johnson effectively putting into practise our primary reason to exist, our sultana detre, if you will, I expected us to carry off a bus load of seats.”

Not even one seat. Not even in Lincolnshire or parts of Essex where loads of the racists live.

“We have held on to our seat on Question Time though. From there we can continue to make government policy and push it out to the nation with the help of publicly funded broadcasting.

“It’s weird really. Our core policies of reintroducing the death penalty and the forced removal of mixed race children from their birth mothers so they can be raised as proper Christians seemed really popular down the pub.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.