A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook. 

The woman, 32 year old Helen, posted a Facebook status at 8.06am saying “Absolutely broken. Why r men like this? :'(” (sic). This status caused a flurry of concerned comments which included “are you alright, hun?” And “inbox me, bbz!”.

At the time of going to press, Helen had failed to tell her friends what was wrong, and whether she was indeed fine. We at the Herald can only assume she is ok, because a status update at 11.26am read “What a wonderful day to be alive! :):):):)”.

We will bring you further information on this breaking news story as soon as we have it. But we must admit it’s unlikely that we will ever know what caused Helen to post such a status, because Helen does this all the time. Helen is also regularly ‘checking into’ her local A&E on Facebook, but has yet to ever tell anyone why.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.