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    Categories: Humour

Six year old girl fears poisoning after finding new food mixed into her food

Six year old Sally Parker, domestic overseer and student, has recoiled in horror fearing poisoning after the discovery of new food mixed into food she thought safe through exhaustive and repeated experience.

The incident occurred at breakfast, an event that experience also suggests should be a safe time. But no sooner had Sally dipped her spoon into a bowl of what was supposed to be pure porridge, then she noticed the potential toxin lurking amongst the oats.

“What is this?” Sally asked.

“It’s food.” Her father replied.

“But what IS it?”

“It’s porridge. It’s just porridge. Eat it.”

“Why didn’t you make me what I wanted?” Sally asked the haphazard, would be murderer, before creating a safe distance between herself and the risk of poisoning.

“Please eat your breakfast. We don’t have time for this.”

Sally’s younger sibling was called at this point to act as a food taster by her elder sibling.

“What is that?” Four year old Parker Sally asked, also instantly spotting the suspicious substance.

“It’s a blueberry. For the love of God, you eat them all the time.”

“Not in porridge.” Sally corrected the bumbling assassin. “Never in porridge. Are they even safe to eat in porridge?”

“Yeah, never in porridge.” Parker assisted. “Why didn’t you just make Sally breakfast?”

At this point the clumsy cook took a spoonful of the so called food and ate it himself to prove its safety.

“The spoon is dirty now.”

“Yeah, it’s got your germs on it.”

Their father called the family dog to the table and set the porridge before the animal in a ‘statement event’ to show with actions what happens when you don’t eat your food.

“I’m not eating that.” Charlotte, border collie, nine years old declared. “He’s trying to poison the pair of you. You realise that?”

Wrandle River: