Other News

The NHS has declared that it's probably a better use of money to invest in tap water than provide homeopathy provision. NHS spokesperson Dr Gary Tackle said, "Frankly we've never had much luck with homeopathy....

Vodafone chief executive Nick Jeffrey has apologised to customers for its poor service after being fined £4.6 million by OFCOM. Mr Jeffrey said the fine was proportionate, and that as they've avoided paying a fair...

Evening Standard Editor George Osborne is rightfully popular with recruitment specialists but few people are aware of his first job as famous, mysterious street artist Banksy. The Rochdale Herald’s crime correspondent spoke to Mr Osborne...

A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a press conference after consuming too much warm Prosecco. Speaking to the...

In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier he said "Under the Conservative government, the instances of bears...

Ipswich feminist Leigh Askew has been included on the shortlist for a new category at the British Comedy Awards. The inaugural Funniest Social Media Post award has been included to reward those lesser known comedians...

Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad cold is all I see at the moment." The resident...

Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July are not true.  That honour goes to fellow Tory MP Gordon...

Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale improves. Devlin Halfrun, a junior minister in the Dept for Getting...

Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a thousand news readers flinging their own excrement at a cardboard...

In the wake of the recent cyber-attacks on parliament, we have learned a lot. For starters, the reason Theresa May keeps saying “strong and stable” - it’s not merely her soundbite of choice, she...

UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of statistics. Head of the watchdog Mr Norse Code is said to...

News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man carrying a sledgehammer was arrested shortly after the event but...

With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the Chilcott report into Ross and Rachel’s ‘Break’ has finally been...

Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...