Brexit

As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow piss in the bowl, even though you're a woman, it's...

Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking...

Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...

Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today. David "What Am I Doing?" Davis reassured the public that a post-Brexit Britain will...

We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make the hours pass. Working every day in a cheap cafe...

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has vowed that if he becomes Prime Minister he will personally walk to Brussels to demonstrate how serious he is about negotiating the best possible Brexit deal for the British...

A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing at passport control for so long he was able to...

There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending PTA meetings and has no idea what’s been going on...

In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU. A hastily formed government led by the president elect, K G Bird, said, "After years of answering...

Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa at full price from DFS. Davis said, "I knew when we...

Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were raised today when Brexit secretary, Dominic Raab, announced that a...

“Rain shower means rain shower."

Sewer workers in the London area of Whitechapel have reportedly found the dreams of the young decomposing in a giant blockage in the system which leads all the way back to 10 Downing Street. It's...

Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day Britain leaves the EU. The call from a leading Brexiter and...

According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays and an ever extending transition period, defiant Brexiters have taken...