Other News

The English Football League has admitted buying its footballs from Denny’s Auto Diesel & Spar Mini-Mart on the Bury New Road in Rochdale. The balls, nicknamed the Penny Swerver by posh kids from Sutton...

The World Wide Web is sulking after Facebook got its birthday wrong.  Facebook flooded feeds with celebratory posts on the 23rd of August claiming the Web was 25 years old on that date. "Bollocks! " the...

The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer serves French wine, Italian food or German lager. There are...

British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal, a cabinet minister has suggested. The Transport Secretary Chris Grayling made...

A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.

Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence Payment). The payment, designed to assist individuals who are long term...

Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting that we might want to stay in the European Union. Speaking at...

Channel 4's flagship box-based quiz show "Deal Or No Deal" is to be axed after Rochdale maths wizard Ken Ramsbottom cracked the code that's remained an enigma for the show's entire 11 year run,...

A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed. The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old Benny Hill, was interviewed by the Herald’s Michelin Star correspondent...

The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was a 'victim of his own success'. The death of the serial...

Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European Union will die after the Brexit negotiations are concluded. They are...

The brown skin hating half brained bigot, Katie Hopkins, has an unfathomably large following since she started peddling bile for The Sun toilet paper. Keith Carlito, an unemployed 24 stone Britain First member said; "A...

It can be harrowing, truly tragic to see, to see a young, athletic, talented man to have to survive in squalid conditions, living on less than you paid for your house. That is why we...

Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern debut on Instagram. The prodigy gained further renown at the AGM...

Only Theresa May can effectively negotiate Brexit, according to Tories. "Obviously with all 27 EU nations being absolutely united and holding all the cards," explained Brexit expert and Conservative Party member Lotta Pounds, "it would...

A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry at their local suburban Indian restaurant last weekend. The Sharma family,...