Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

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Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing production budgets. This ongoing pressure is nowhere more visible than on...

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

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Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon cameo actor will spend the next 10 weeks firing people...

Remember the Wombles? Forgotten 70’s BBC stars found starving in hole in ground

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In their 1970s heyday they topped the charts with popular sing-a-long anthems like "Remember You're a Womble" and "Wombling Merry Christmas." But after the hits dried up and the BBC stopped running the fly-on-the-wall stop...

Elton John’s Buckfast addled night of passion with Jimmy Krankie’s Mum

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Elton John, no stranger to controversy, has claimed that he had a one night stand with the mother of TV comedian-child Jimmy Krankie while on a mad Bucky bender many years ago. "I was out...

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

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Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next James Bond could be black or a woman, but obviously...

Murder she wrote woman not dead

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Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced. "Appearing as what? A corpse?" asked Sandra Johnson, a 53 year mum...

Alanis Morisette to rename 1996 hit Inconvenient after learning what Ironic means

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Canadian rock songstress Alanis Morisette has re-written her 1996 classic single "Ironic" after finally meeting a British person who filled her in on the meaning of the word irony.

Theresa May autobiography ‘Thatcher In The Rye’ for September release

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Controversy was the buzz word in the publishing world today with news that Theresa May has handed in the manuscript for her autobiography "Thatcher In The Rye", scheduled for release in September. Details of the...

Cliff Richard is absolutely, definitely not a nonce admits BBC

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Rumours are spreading that CLiff Richards, who is not a nonce, is furious today after the BBC suggested that he had racked up unreasonable legal fees in suing the BBC for not ignoring him. The...

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet Hadley blamed his departure on "circumstances beyond my control", taken...

Rochdale in mourning as Willy Wonka actor Brian Cox dies in his sleep

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The much loved character was played by the very youthful looking 83 year old Scientist, Actor and Professor Brian Cox who sadly passed away earlier today. Cox was a genius of comedy timing and a...

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

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“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said, as he addressed an emergency cabinet meeting. “I love Number...

Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track

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In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.

Thousands gather in London to watch fireworks through their phones

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Scores of New Year's Eve partygoers descended on London last night to watch the spectacular fireworks display through their smartphones. Over a hundred thousand people stood next to each other with their devices held aloft...

Euro TV Satellite expected to fall on Rochdale: “Nothing to fear” say boffins

28.2E Astra2/Eurobird1 may not mean anything to most people, but it is very much in the minds of worried Rochdale residents who have recently learned that the high-tech TV satellite is expected to fall...
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