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Kate Middleton

Duchess of Cambridge to host special royal edition of Bake Off

Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a special royal edition of Bake Off. "This is a unique opportunity...

Cockroaches latest to quit I’m a celebrity, after refusing to touch Katie Hopkins.

Following on from yesterday's shock departure of the venomous snakes, an intrusion of cockroaches have also terminated their contract to appear on this years upcoming ‘I'm a celebrity, get me out of here’ Traditionally the...

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one of the biggest tv shows, it appears that one of...
Katie Hopkins

Poisonous snake first to leave I’m A Celebrity after failing to overcome fear of...

The program known for subjecting contestants to creepy crawlies, scary animals and filthy challenges is facing a crisis after it has emerged that none of them are prepared to work with Katie Hopkins. The backlash...
William Shatner

William Shatner fired from Trump Biopic for not having big enough ego

It’s not often you hear William Shatner’s ego described as “too small”, but that’s the complaint being made by the producers of his latest movie venture, a biopic of Donald Trump. The movie has been...
Homeless

Survey reveals homeless choose to live on streets so they cannot appear on Come...

To many, the issue of homelessness invokes thoughts of a person falling on hard times, perhaps even drink, drugs, or criminality. Now, the latest poll has revealed that the majority of homeless people live...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with the announcement that she has recorded a cover of the...

Nigel Farage cast as Pinocchio in reboot of Disney classic

Arron Banks is tipped to direct in his feature debut having amassed an impressive CV of smaller films targeted at indie audiences.

Tim Westwood admits that he is a white man trapped in a black man’s...

“Tim Westwood is a giant twat, and his name makes me cringe. I LOATHE the fact that, like him or not, the hip-hop scene in the UK owes him a massive debt. It really galls me, it really does. Twat.” A. Spaniel
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to a Thunderbirds puppet with a condom over his head. With only...
Diane Abbott

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is to be played by Diane Abbott MP. Director Roger De Bris...

Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic

Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Kim Jong Un Submarine

Fatboy Kim to re-release his mix of Radioactivity

In a move to hail his comeback, the king of hereditary Marxist dictators, Kim Young Un aka Fatboy Kim, has announced a rehashing of his old remix hit "Radioactivity". His latest bid to burn up...
ALBERT

V&A apologises for asking man who whipped his Albert out to cover up

The Victoria and Albert Museum has apologised after a man said he was asked to "cover up" while whipping his cock out for a breather on a visit to the London attraction. In a post...
Meal or No Meal

Noel Edmonds widely criticised for presenting North Korean game show Meal or No Meal

Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no Meal. The show involves a single Korean contestant trying to beat...
Pyongyang Style

North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style

North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style". The song, which is his own twist on "Gangnam Style" is also a kick in the teeth...

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