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Rochdale, UK

Intrepid British journalists discover tribe of foreigners who don’t let each other die in...

The British media world was stunned today by the discovery of a tribe of non-British humans who actually attempt to save each other after natural disasters. To listen to the thrilled and condescending tones of...

Governor of Puerto Rico seeks Theresa May’s advice on how to rule an island...

The Governor of Puerto Rico, Jorge Aliouet sent an urgent appeal to Prime Minotaur Theresa May tonight. The island of Puerto Rico has been devastated by Hurricane Marie and the biggest problem is that the...

Mexican earthquake disaster: whose faultline is it anyway?

At the Herald, we do not make fun of the suffering of innocent disaster victims, but we do point fingers. Less Mock the Weak, more Whose Faultline is it Anyway? In the wake of Donald...

Rogue State Threatens World Peace By Threatening To Totally Destroy North Korea

A rogue nation, governed by a lunatic, could be about to start a nuclear war on North Korea. The country, known in its native tongue as ‘Murica, has been rogue since the January 20th of...

End of the World Predicted this month. For the Third Time

End of the World Predicted this month. For the Third Time. This time conspiracy theorists have predicted that, on 23 September, there will be a biblical apocalypse, which this time, will not even leave cockroaches...
Red Hat

Angry terrorist given away by distinctive red hat

An angry teenager with the mental age of an eleven year old suspected of international terrorism offences has been arrested because he was wearing a distinctive red hat that matched one captured in CCTV...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times

Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged. Sources close to the president have informed the Rochdale Herald that recently he and his wife Melania visited...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a statement posted on the official White House website Trump explained...

Child struggling with his job watches a kid with a lawnmower

A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.

President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order

American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists by listing loudmouth race hate rabble rouser Donald Trump in...
Sea Creature

Mysterious fanged sea creature that washed up on Texas beach identified as Steve Bannon

The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified. The identity of the sea creature has been the subject of much debate after...

Outrage as American woman forced to wear hijab

Supporters of Donald Trump's travel ban have been outraged by this picture of a white American woman who has been forced to wear a hijab. Although the identity of the woman remains unclear, it has...
Kim Jong-un

Russia and China back UN call for Kim Jong Un to be sent to...

The UN has finally received the backing of both Mummy and Daddy as Russia and China backed the call for serious punishment to be applied to Kim Jong Un of North Korea. A UN spokesman...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state media, in the face of a US drive for tough...

Sir Richard Branson arrested for looting in British Virgin Islands

Billionaire adventurer and entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson is currently in custody in the British Virgin Islands after being arrested for looting, according to reports.   Hundreds of British troops and police officers have been deployed...
Mar a Lago

Donald Trump moves Mar a Lago to Tampa Bay for insurance purposes

Donald Trump has applied to have the address of his Mar-a-Lago changed from Palm Beach to Tampa Bay, ahead of the arrival of Hurricane Irma on the Gulf Coast. Planning documents published by the windswept...

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