14.4 C
Rochdale, UK
Kim Jong-un

Russia and China back UN call for Kim Jong Un to be sent to...

The UN has finally received the backing of both Mummy and Daddy as Russia and China backed the call for serious punishment to be applied to Kim Jong Un of North Korea. A UN spokesman...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state media, in the face of a US drive for tough...

Sir Richard Branson arrested for looting in British Virgin Islands

Billionaire adventurer and entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson is currently in custody in the British Virgin Islands after being arrested for looting, according to reports.   Hundreds of British troops and police officers have been deployed...
Mar a Lago

Donald Trump moves Mar a Lago to Tampa Bay for insurance purposes

Donald Trump has applied to have the address of his Mar-a-Lago changed from Palm Beach to Tampa Bay, ahead of the arrival of Hurricane Irma on the Gulf Coast. Planning documents published by the windswept...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's decision to leave the EU will inevitably lead to a...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at a rare public appearance as a guest of Dave Chappelle...

Climate Change is a hoax insists Texan on a raft

Despite his trailer having flooded and all his possessions being lost to water damage, defiant Texan, Ray "Buckeye" McCready is travelling around his home state on a makeshift raft to convince others that climate change is a hoax.
Hurricane

State of emergency declared as Hurricane Irma heads towards rich white people

Category 4 hurricane ‘Irma’ has caused devastation throughout the Caribbean and Bahamas this week. The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and has had winds of up to 185mph, causing...
International Thundercunt

Donald Trump wins ‘International Thundercunt of the Year Award’ after declaring war on children

President Donald Trump has been awarded the International Thundercunt of the Year Award following his decision to remove protections for young people brought into the US when they were children.  The award is presented annually...
Trump

Massive weapon condemns massive weapon’s massive weapon test

A massive weapon took to social media this morning to condemn the massive weapon test of another massive weapon. It's unclear at this point who is the biggest massive weapon, although all are certain who...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...

North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North Korean territory. It’s thought the revelation was made because Kim is...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked splendidly for calculating the amount of money the UK doesn't...
Trump Supporters

Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies

The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies. During a speech given to Texas flooding victims Trump said, "Can you believe the size of...
Beynonce Knowles

We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims

Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding. “We asked for buoyancy aids so that we could keep ourselves and our pets...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo King, 46, from Rochdale, has just got back from a...
Sea Wall

Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms

Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes, or “foreign storms” as he put it. “All this foreign air...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts