Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at a fairground in 1983.

The children; Hank, Eric, Bobby, Diana, Presto and Sheila were last seen entering a fairground ride in New Jersey in 1983 and haven’t been seen since.

The man, described by authorities as a short, creepy bald wizard who talks in riddles, was detained by officers who claim he definitely has the power to reunite the lost children, now aged between 37 and 51, with their increasingly frantic parents. 

“It’s outrageous that this man, who calls himself Dungeon Master and likes to dress kids up in slightly kinky fancy dress, hasn’t allowed these children to return home for 36 years.” A spokesman for the New Jersey Police Department told The Rochdale Herald.

“It’s an outrage.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.