Today crowds of nearly a few dozen have gathered outside Downing Street armed with Placards stating “free are Tommy” and two Netto bags full of premium strength lager.
They are protesting the imprisonment of Luton Hitler Youth leader and EDL founder Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, better known by his more anglised pseudonym ‘Tommy Robinson’ (not to be confused with TV personality Tony Robinson, who isn’t a massive racist).

It is believed that Mr Robinson shouted “Muslims that come to England should respect our English laws or leave” before being transported to HMP Hull, for breaking several English Laws, including Mortgage fraud, Aggravated Bodily Harm, several instances of Contempt of Court and violating conditions of parole.

“Tommy is a national hero” said one of the protestors, after taking a gulp from a can of Special Brew, he continued “He is brave enough to stand tall, shout the truth and hold those Musrats to account”. The sweaty skin headed yob refers to an ongoing legal case being tried in the Crown Courts, which may, due to Mr Robinson’s efforts, be prejudiced, possibly requiring a retrial at the cost of hundreds of thousands of pounds to the tax payer.

“Tommy is a political prisoner, why else would the state censor his trial” said another barely understandable drunk waving an upside-down Union flag. This reporter tried to explain how media censorship on trails is typical and in fact, the very reason Mr Robinson was arrested for breaching; however, this was met with a blank stare followed by a muttered retort of “bloody lefty media”.

We were going to try and get a statement from Mr Robinson from within HMP Hull, but thought better of it, since we don’t give the slightest of tosses what bigoted hate preacher has to say.