A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to keep him out of the news.
Boris Johnson is apparently furious that his private conversations and ‘hilarious’ anecdotes keep appearing in the national press and had sent a series of angry texts to his Westminster colleagues asking them to keep private conversations exactly that, private. These texts were, of course, immediately leaked to the press.
Mr Johnson has recently blamed ‘a sinister band of imposters’ for using his name to attack the Prime Minister and Chancellor of the Exchequer and has said that he would simply ‘say no’ if asked to resign.
The Foreign Secretary is no stranger to the limelight cast by Fleet Street and seems eager to provide quotes in public at every available opportunity. He once likened his chances of becoming Prime Minister as “about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive” and told us his “speaking style was criticised by no less an authority than Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was a low moment, my friends, to have my rhetorical skills denounced by a monosyllabic Austrian cyborg.”
The UK’s primary political representative to the world has spoken openly about his love of stag hunting, called the people of Africa flag-waving picaninnies with watermelon smiles and referred to the Conservative party leadership contest as “Papau New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.”
Whilst his policy on cake is “pro having it and pro eating it”, Mr Johnson obviously finds that, no matter how much of a buffoon he acts in public, it’s thoroughly irksome to have every conversation he has in private with his friends broadcast to the waiting news media.
Perhaps if he wasn’t such a colossal dick they wouldn’t feel the need.
