Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK’s Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs.

The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston that he’s been planning the strategy since Parliament was dissolved. Speaking to Peston he said,”Theresa phoned me up and said she and Phil would do the campaigning. She needed me to stay in the Foreign Office and come up with a strategy for Brexit.”

Mr Johnson then went on to reveal that after a snifter at the St George’s Conservative club he and David Davis hit upon the idea. They intend to collect a load of proper old fashioned British foil bottle tops. They’ll write the subject titles on the tops, stack them up then Johnson and Claude Juncker will take turns throwing their slammer down.

When Mr Johnson was asked if he thought this might be a risky strategy Mr Johnson said that it wasn’t. It would have high rewards and as he’s been practicing for 16 hours a day he would be perfectly positioned to get everything the UK will need.

Concluding Mr Johnson added, “And if that fails I’ve a brilliant Personal Gentleman who can fix anything.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.