Following the release of vile video footage from 2005, Donald Trump has issued a heartfelt bullshit apology.

In the video, ridiculous Presidential hopeful Trump can be heard saying some pretty shitty things about women, and how he treats them.

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Now, we’re all pretty used to the big orange mess saying some stupid things by now, but these comments were a new low.

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Mr. Trump issued an apology that read:

“I’ve said and done things I regret. Anyone who knows me knows these words don’t reflect who I am. I said it, I was wrong, and I apologise.

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“I’ve never said I’m a perfect person nor pretended to be someone I’m not. I pledge to be a better man tomorrow.”

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So he’s sorry. Sorry that he said some shitty stuff about women. Stuff that was totally out of character, and not suggestive of the man he actually is.

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Well I’m calling bullshit. If Trump actually had the capacity to care what other people thought about the things he said, he wouldn’t say them in the first place. He’d be a completely different man.

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And, it really isn’t like this is anything new. Seriously. He’s pretty famous by now for his feelings towards and treatment of women. We all know that those words reflect exactly what kind of man he is.

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Women are things to him. They’re not men. They’re there to be looked at, and played with, and tossed aside when you’re bored with them. And he thinks it’s acceptable to talk about them like this.

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The only thing that he’s sorry about is that he got caught, and how that may affect him and his chances of getting to the Whitehouse. He’s a pig. A dangerous pig.

If you’re reading this America: please, please, please, don’t give him the job.