The male escort at the centre of the Vazgate scandal faces allegations that he probed a police officer immediately before bending over for Keith Vaz, in what is being called CheekyFingerInTheCoppersBumgate.
Jeremy Clarkson joins Met Police to head the investigation into the death of a small child. “She was run over by the new Dacia Ecoli, right?” asked the bewildered looking buffoon.
Jeremy Clarkson sacked by The Met after CCTV footage of him robbing a corner shop wearing a burka is revealed. “I always said it could be anyone under there” said Jane Gallbladder of Rochdale, “turns out it was Clarkson. Twat.”