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Petition to stop The Simpsons writing ‘Katie Hopkins becoming PrimeMinister’ episode reaches 65 million...

Creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, announced in an interview last week that he was planning an episode  in which human bile balloon, Katie Hopkins, becomes Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. The 'joke' came...

Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises

A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union believes that pretty soon there will be no commuters left,...

Chilcot To Investigate D:Ream Claims

John Chilcot, Privy Counsellor who recently investigated the Blair administratin’s Iraq War has bagged a new role today: investigating the claims of D:Ream hit “Things Can Only Get Better.” The late 90s hit used by...

Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview

Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an interview with the BBC in which she said precisely bugger...

Something..something..Dark Side….Head of Trade Federation Calls For Single Market Military

Supreme Chancellor Juncker addressed the Galactic Council yesterday to bring them up to date with current events relating to their Trade Federation. He said the Separatist movement headed by Jedi Master Count Farage was now...
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are cracked up to be.  An insider at the office for the...

Religious leader applauds honour killing in US

A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing her daughters to prevent them bringing shame upon their family. The...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place of their previous smash hit since losing the rights to...

Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016

A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend. Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party at a friend's second holiday home (well, strictly speaking third)...

UK Satirists mourn the death of Sir Antony Jay

Sir Antony Jay, the creator of Yes Minister has died taking with him UK satire. All we have left is the equivalent of a thousand news readers flinging their own excrement at a cardboard...

Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following last months decision to leave the EU by the British...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The National trust was published. After thirty years of saying that every...

Strangers raise over £170,000 to give to anyone

AGoFundMe page was set up yesterday and has already raised over a £170,000 with all proceeds to someone. The page's founder, Simon Collins, said; "I don't care who gets the cash, I honestly don't. I...

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn’s ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour Leadership challenge.  “There's no reason to think that the previous partner...

Greater Manchester Police report sharp rise in Pokemon baiting

Rochdale Constabulary have today released figures for what they describe as a 'disturbing and significant increase' in the barbaric and outlawed practice of Pokemon baiting. The announcement today coincides with the appearance in Rochdale Crown Court...

Muslim on Muslim terrorism: yes it really is a thing Daily Mail

The western world is in shock today after mainstream western media actually reported on a terrorist attack that didn't result in the deaths of white people or Christians. Though no group has officially claimed responsibility...

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