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ISIS applies for FIFA membership

The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be able to be accepted in time for the next World...

Sports Personality of the Year changed to ‘Sportsperson’ After Trade Descriptions Probe

The BBC has announced that their annual jockfest 'Sports Personality of the Year' is to be renamed 'Sportsperson of the Year' following an investigation under the Trades Descriptions Act.  BBC spokesman Damian D'Amienne said; "We have...

International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping

More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30 sports including football have been subject to a state sponsored...

Sneaky German declares Last Goal’s the Winner and takes ball home

Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!

Real children take it like a man says Eric Bristow

Overweight, heavy drinking child rape apologist and national embarrassment Eric Bristow has responded to the horrific revelations that young children have been sodomised by a football coach by implying that real children should take it like a man.
Dartboard

UKIP contains more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard

The political establishment was rocked today when new research conclusively proved that the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) contains more pricks than world famous darts champion Eric Bristow’s dart board. “While Bristow’s dart board contains hundreds...

Eric Bristow MBE says beaten women aren’t ‘proper men’

The pie faced gravy rhyming bastard, who obtained Royal recognition for being good at throwing things made the comment after a series of ill judged drunken Tweets last night. Within them he also stated that victims...

Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.

Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers in the Premier League, with only 6 months left in...
Local Rochdale bowls club rocked by doping allegations

Local Rochdale bowls club rocked by doping allegations

The Annual General Meeting of the Bamford Bowls Club was rocked by a scandal when multiple mens champion David Thrimbleton was accused of cheating by a rival. Thrimbleton, 77, has won the club’s top award for 17...
Man holding his head laughing

Woakes Croaks – Jokes Hoax Chokes Stokes’ Folks

It has been revealed that a story about England cricket all-rounder Ben Stokes, which was definitely not printed in the Rochdale Herald, was a complete fabrication.  The story, which intimated the Durham player had jested...
Salt and Vinegar crisps

A word in your ear Mr Lineker

I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to start using Gary Neville If those twats don't like your tweets Then...

Rochdale Reds watch Man Utd forge ahead with Brexit plan

Members of the Rochdale Reds Man Utd supporters association may ask the High Court to step in over Jose Mourinho's apparent Brexit plans. United manager Mourinho has berated his players for approaching their Europa League...

GBBO causes football fracas

It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake Off winner. Knowing full well that Chelsea fans had it...

Vegan runs Great South Run without telling anybody he’s a vegan

A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.

Angels Pulverise Shrimpers… Again!

Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle. Rochdale managed to kick the ball into the net thing 3 times while Southend didn't...

Shock News: Tyson Fury Tests Positive For Horlicks

The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal Tyson Fury was declared medically unfit to fight because he tested positive for Horlicks. The IBF have banned Horlicks, a known performance reducing beverage for a number of years now. It is...

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