Religion

Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Speculation had run rife that, having been born of a well-known virgin, pint-sized Josh was almost certainly the...

The scientific and religious worlds were in shock yesterday after a newly discovered island in a remote part of the Indian Ocean was found to be inhabited exclusively by the souls of the virtuous....

In a startling new development in the ongoing revelations of sexual impropriety, Father Peter O'Fiall of St. Thomas the Dubious Roman Catholic Church in Rochdale, claims that he 'was touched by God' many years...

The new Christmas advert from Tesco has caused outrage for its lack of overt Christianity, mainly from people who will go nowhere near a church at Christmas. The advert encouraging people to consume mindlessly,...

In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

"Religion is very stupid and the way you practice it is frankly divisive," said Jesus. His good friend, Mohammad, agreed wholeheartedly, adding "seriously, some of you are utter, utter, bellends, the way you misuse your...

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury. In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour party after quoting discredited historians and distributing anti-Semitic literature. Speaking to...

Speaking from his home near Cape Verde, Black Jesus denied that his decision to spend time exploring his roots in West Africa has had anything to do with the recent uptick in hurricane prevalence. “Sure,...

Jesus has clarified that hollow chocolate eggs symbolise the hollowness and empty promises at the heart of all religions. Jesus, or "The Light", as he prefers to be known said, "It's nothing to do with...

Jeremy Corbyn has been forced to deny further allegations of anti-Semitism after being spotted celebrating the crucifixion of a Jewish man. The Jewish man in question died 2000 years ago after a short trial following...

Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.

Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.

The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald, the antichrist tells the DUP "I'm nothing like the Pope!" On a damp and surprisingly chilly June morning I travelled to my meeting with a certain sense...