Religion

In a startling new development in the ongoing revelations of sexual impropriety, Father Peter O'Fiall of St. Thomas the Dubious Roman Catholic Church in Rochdale, claims that he 'was touched by God' many years...

In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the Messiah, but instead is 'a very naughty boy.' The announcement came...

The Roman Catholic Church has accused a convicted Asian paedophile gang of cultural appropriation. Vatican spokesman, Riccardo Ricci said, "This is disgusting. We were doing paedophilia for centuries before their religion was even invented. Did...

Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group. "Look it's simple innit, evwywon nose dat U use Susie Salt to draw...

Huddersfield photographer Golcar Matt snapped a cloud in the shape of Great Britain, and meteorologists are debating its religious significance. “It is a clear sign of a Catholic God,” said Shinner McVeigh. “Just look at...

In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat." Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H...

A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced to give birth on a stable floor. Mary told us, "I...

Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.

Jesus has clarified that hollow chocolate eggs symbolise the hollowness and empty promises at the heart of all religions. Jesus, or "The Light", as he prefers to be known said, "It's nothing to do with...

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented by Pontius Pilate asked the people whether Jesus of Nazareth should be released or die.  Asked...

There was consternation today as Jesus revealed to The Rochdale Herald that he slams the doors of heaven in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses. Jesus said "They were the dumbest thing I ever invented. Basically,...

Religious rights activists have launched coordinated raids around the world this morning and have successfully freed tens of thousands of battery farmed Jesuses from cages in barns. The Jesuses who are farmed for the chocolate...

Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a pretty crap Friday. "I don't know why people keep calling it...

The parents of Jesus Christ, Mary and Joseph, will appear on a festive edition of the Jeremy Kyle Show next week, following doubts over the Messiah's paternity. Titled 'Immaculate Conception or Spectacular Deception?', it is...

A Rochdale man has been telling us that he is furious that he hasn't yet been arrested for wishing people a Merry Christmas. Bill Board, who has been to church twice in 30 years told...