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Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Have you tried turning Trump off and on again…

Technicians were called out this week to reboot Donald Trump, after a catastrophic failure in his programming left him arguing with his own reflection. The call was made on Friday morning, after an aide who...
Danczuk

Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or

Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.

Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr Steph O'Scope said "I think he's reading Zen & The...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from everyone to sod off and die, Mr Hunt has today...

Dead Kennedys to perform at Trump inauguration

Hard core punk rockers, Dead Kennedys, have agreed to perform at Donald Trump's inauguration after Susan Boyle was forced to cancel. SuBo was due to perform the Dead Kennedys classic 1981 punk anthem 'Too Drunk...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence community leaking reports of recordings of alleged encounters with Eastern...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who plans to intern Mexicans and create a register of Muslims...

It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump

World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.

What do people need money for? Asks man wearing suit borrowed from tramp

A man wearing a suit borrowed from a hobo went on national radio yesterday to suggest people should only be allowed to earn a maximum amount of money.
Man with lizard face

Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People

Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens who covertly control all aspects of human endeavour. The partnership will also...

Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The resignation comes after the DUP repeatedly took more than their...

Tony Blair on the shortlist for Nobel Peace Prize

Former Prime Minister Anthony Charles Lynton "Tony" Blair has been spotted on this year's Nobel Peace Prize shortlist. Famous for his support of fun loving warmonger George W Bush, Blair became leader of the Labour...

Momentum release Labour leader themed children’s book ‘Where’s Corbyn?’

Children of the proletariat were delighted at the news today that Momentum are publishing a series of exciting Labour leader themed children's books. The first in the series, "Where's Corbyn?", has been published by RH...
Teresa may

Theresa May confirms Brisrael means Brisrael

Theresa May today confirmed that "Brisrael means Brisrael" when asked about the Israeli Embassy's interventions to promote or destroy the careers of British MPs. "Look, it's fairly straightforward," said Mrs May. "I would have thought...

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