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Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the watchlist of subversive organisations. The "Enemies List" as it is known...

Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong

South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing wrong 'under trade union law or any other law'. He...

Nationalism only good if you’re not Scottish, say nationalists who aren’t Scottish

Nationalists across England are up in arms at the suggestion that Scotland might have a referendum to leave the UK and become an independent nation. “Nationalism is a stupid idea,” says Alfred Hilter, a Surrey...

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their heads into microwave ovens in an attempt to take selfies. Conway...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world, rather than the literal one. “All these things, elections, accusations, tweets, policy...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is from, and when they do it's usually innocent curiosity rather...

Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister

Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister. Speaking through an interpreter she said to Theresa May "I'll get you my pretty! You...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to trigger article 50. Although bendy bananas are not strictly allowed...

David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom

David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to the ex prime minister have confirmed. Cameron, whose political career ended...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that he is actually Dr Liam Fox, as had previously been...

Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine.

After recently testing new his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy “on the road.” Having received a great response from Conservative backbenchers during his...

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue faction in the Labour Party, means that parliament is at...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has been defeated in the Lords. The amendment would have required another...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil hat in the White House and is equipping all his...

Corbyn warned to Beware the Ides of March

Jeremy Corbyn, twice elected leader of the Labour party has been warned by a soothsayer to "Beware the Ides of March". It comes days after the loss of the Copeland constituency to the conservatives in the recent...

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