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Emma watson

Emma Watson ridiculed by mysoginistic pig of journalist at The Sun

A tragic, privileged, middle-class man wrote a vile 'article' today about Emma Watson, an extremely clever young lady, after she made a very impressive speech to the UN in New York.  Emma Watson was in...

Rochdale Back On Map As Derivative Downfall Phone-It-In Reaches 1Million Mark

There were jubilant scenes among Rochdale's hip, young and happy shoppers in the Espanade this morning as the news broke that the one-millionth sloppily produced rehash of the epic bunker scene from the seminal...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair they recovered a mysterious foreign book at the house of...

Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh

The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick buck. Mail journalist Sandra Hare, said "each year Oxfam raise...

Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth

In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth. Employees of the Ministry of Truth (known within the Social Media...

Today’s Front Page Stories, at a glance

In a super top secret meeting that took place in Brussels back in June, Jude Law was named as Libya's most dangerous people smuggler. HMS Diamond has been dispatched by the British Navy to...

Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...

The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins, a retired PE Teacher from Rochdale, has contacted every Yahoo...

Rochdale Herald editor drowns in tragic Daily Mail tractor accident

In an incident uncannily similar to the fate of controversial media proprietor, Robert Maxwell, who apparently drowned after falling from his private yacht, an editor of The Rochdale Herald was found dead in a...

‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there is no such thing as a moderate Muslim. Despite the fact...

SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble

The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising The Southend News Network. Professor Bryan Cocks of Rochdale's Community University...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered up so far, bosses are worried that Sir David Attenborough...

Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical hack-in-chief of Rochdale’s only quality satirical organ had very recently...

Friendless satirists reduced to talking in headlines on closed satire sites

Since the negative publicity surrounding "hoax news" networks, aka SATIRICAL FACEBOOK PAGES, much of their activity has been curtailed by certain leading executives of the social networking provider.  Many of the public sites have been...

Fake news reporting undermining professionals

Following the news that the owner of everyone's favourite dog and Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg has called to investigate fake news sites and exercise stricter controls.  A leading journalist has echoed this call stating that...
Outrage

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed new ruling is simple: “At this stage pretty much anything said...

Daily Mail readers die from apoplexy after Muslim Immigrant wins Gold

Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m Olympic final last night. Ambulances services, already stretched to breaking point,...

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