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Rochdale, UK

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this week on their new show The Grand Tour. The minature dead...
Karen Danczuk Topless

Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...

The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book

The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.  As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease printing stories and instead focus on producing “exciting and thought-provoking...

Daily Mail editor defends decision to exclude Gold medallist with alopecia from cover

The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world record breaking Team Pursuit team on the cover of the...
ISIS

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known as the Golden Suicide Vest, has been awarded to a...

Breaking News: Dozens Dead in Fleet Street Fire

Several dozen journalists at The Daily Mail are feared dead whilst dozens more are critically injured after laptop computers exploded in their Northcliffe House head office this morning. The tragedy occurred when The Daily Mail's...

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope Francis spoke to our religious affairs reporter at the Vatican; "Writing...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of "cheap, lazy journalists who ran with fake Trump sleaze to...
Teletubbies

Christian Groups outraged as Multi-faith revamp of Teletubbies features NO Christian Character

Rochdale's creative industry seemingly received a huge boost last week as local TV production firm, Hot Pot Productions, was awarded a £6 million BBC contract to produce one hundred episodes of the revamped children's...

Gove dances The Macarena at Cenotaph, scores 9’s

Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it. Today at the cenotaph there were glorious scenes, Michael Gove danced the Macarena round...

Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal

Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook
John Lewis Weasel

Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an outrage!' said Paul Slaithwaite (53) 'Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they...
Mo Farah

Daily Mail editor on suicide watch as rumours of Mo Farah knighthood circulate

There are genuine fears for the editor of The Daily Mail after a Somali born Muslim Immigrant ran to a double double victory at the Rio Olympics securing the title of Britain's greatest ever...

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man with the caption "terrorist" sent him over the edge. News broke...

Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper is simply an elaborate hoax that went too far. It has...

Thousands dead in Daily Mail Olympics tragedy

Thousands of Daily Mail readers are dead today after their heads exploded whilst reading the rag's coverage of the Olympics. Mild confusion over the juxtaposition between the length of Helen Skelton's skirt and the Egyptian...

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