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Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital

Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical hack-in-chief of Rochdale’s only quality satirical organ had very recently...

We’re nothing like Trump Supporters insist lone wolves

Lone wolves are said to be up in arms this afternoon after CNN compared them to Trump Supporter and Canadian mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette.

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who opened fire in a mosque in Canada was revealed to...

Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse

Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army whistleblower Chelsea Manning. Lawyers for Assange have stated that he intends...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of "cheap, lazy journalists who ran with fake Trump sleaze to...

Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald

The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is regularly voted ‘Rochdale’s Most Popular News Site With Herald In...
The Daily Mail

Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners

Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline into casual racism. “I first noticed the symptoms in my dad...

Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper is simply an elaborate hoax that went too far. It has...

Five great fake news items of 2016

2016 was the year of the post-truth, the fake news, and the downright lies. We at the Herald take a look back at the five biggest myths, hoaxes and untruths which had people perplexed,...

Rochdale Herald Editor knighted in New Year’s Honours List

The editor of the Rochdale Herald, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been knighted for services to fake news. Mr Fortesqueue, 58, said he was delighted to receive the honour as it would make people take...

Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”

Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up. "I never intended it" he told the Rochdale Herald. "It was the pressure. The pressure...
Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey Bake Off". There will be changes to the format of "Springwatch" next...

David Attenborough found alive and well

Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2016's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief after several elderly millionaire celebrities including George Michael (53) and...

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this week on their new show The Grand Tour. The minature dead...

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.

2016 maintains the Status Quo

2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived a quadruple heart bypass in 1997 Rick was admitted to...

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