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Anger as southerners omit cockwomble from the OFCOM Swearing Top 10

New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming

In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey Bake Off". There will be changes to the format of "Springwatch" next...

David Attenborough found alive and well

Reports are coming in this morning that despite 2016's best efforts David Attenborough has been found alive and well. The news comes as welcome relief after several elderly millionaire celebrities including George Michael (53) and...

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this week on their new show The Grand Tour. The minature dead...

Nobody knows what that Facebook fisher is going on about

It was revealed today that nobody knows what that friend who keeps posting attention seeking statuses is actually on about.

2016 maintains the Status Quo

2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt. Having survived a quadruple heart bypass in 1997 Rick was admitted to...

Herald Editor Treated For Shock After Finding Journalism in Daily Mirror

The Editor of the Rochdale Herald is recuperating in Rochdale General Hospital after accidentally finding some quality journalism in The Daily Mirror.

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for Russian cyberattacks during the recent "Rogue One" theft of top...

Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...

The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins, a retired PE Teacher from Rochdale, has contacted every Yahoo...

1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked

Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached. Yahoo, which was once a multi billion dollar blue chip company is now run by...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered up so far, bosses are worried that Sir David Attenborough...

Daily Mail website wins ISIS award for services to Jihad

ISIS have awarded the Daily Mail website, MailOnline.com, its prestigious Jihadi Of The Year Award. This is the first time the sought after prize, known as the Golden Suicide Vest, has been awarded to a...
Santa and reindeer

Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the stories that are utterly false. Whew! There's quite a bit! Firstly we...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the annual show, Brooker was famous for dissecting the previous year...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Sign up to The Rochdale Herald Newsletter

Facebook are doing their level best to reduce the reach of satirical pages like ours.  To get around this silly censorship we have started a newsletter which you can receive by email directly. It's once a...

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope Francis spoke to our religious affairs reporter at the Vatican; "Writing...

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