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Rochdale, UK

NYPD Target Leprechaun Community After $1m Bucket of Gold Stolen

NYPD are looking for a thief who managed to carry an 86lb (36kg) bucket of gold flakes worth $1.6m (£1.2m) off a truck in New York.  Surveillance video showed the theft happened in just 20...

Pooh denies grooming allegations

Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him. The bear, who was linked to a series of historical allegations uncovered by Operation Toytree, is accused in this...

Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?

Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop and search' policy. It is understood that the introduction of the...
Boy with toy machine gun isolated on a white background

That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence

America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week. Mass shootings in the USA are now officially a daily...

Man behind Anonymous turns out to be 13 year old boy from Rochdale

Fans of computer hacker extrordinaires and Internet fighters for justice, Anonymous, will be feeling very let down today with the news that the mastermind behind the whole thing is actually a 13-year-old spotty teenager...
Pippa Middleton smiling

Pippa Middleton iCloud Hack Confirms “Will married the right sister”

Following photos released from the hack of Pippa Middleton's i-Cloud account, Prince William's mates have told him "you definitely married the right one mate!" There had been confusion following his wedding day when friends asked...

Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins holiday camps for Pakis" after all. The revelation came as Mr...

Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson

The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson. A spokesman said; "Sales of the Class A drug are...
Green

Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers

Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade. It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop in London’s Kensington High Street, waiting, as Lou Reed so...

Man Dressed As Batman Chasing Man Dressed As Clown Captured By Man Dressed As...

Rochdale Town Centre, and a man dressed as Batman who has been spotted in the locale chasing a man dressed as a Killer Clown has reportedly been captured by a man dressed as his arch...

Is Bradley Wiggins the new Lance Armstrong?

Bradley Wiggins has come under scrutiny this week after it was revealed he'd used performance enhancing drugs to "put him back on a level playing field" with other athletes not using performance enhancing drugs. It...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten off with a premium sex toy. The attacker forced his way...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the accused is said to have shouted "... Britain first...", before...

Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar

Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale’s upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a spate of panic buying quickly escalated into bitter violence, looting...

US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of himself. They will be rebranded "the Orange Shirts", be given...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

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