10.2 C
Rochdale, UK

Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Former socialite and darling of the tabloids Palmer-Tomkinson was found dead in her...

Unfortunately, Jimmy Carr survives breakthrough surgery

With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that had been mysteriously lodged in Jimmy Carr's windpipe for years. One...

Brexit means boo-boo for May’s haute couture

Prime Minister Theresa May has been pictured wearing some of the very best in British haute couture recently. Her bold departure from her usual conservative (with a small c) wardrobe has been noted by...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.

Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...

Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.

Hollywood blockbuster may not feature Benedict Cumberbatch

Controversy struck Hollywood today when news broke that a new high budget movie might not feature Bendable Cramplebitch. "2017 is a brand new year," said Hollywood pundit Selina Pastiche, "and it's time that not every...

Prince Charles spotted throne shopping in Harrods

The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported. "He was like a big kid." Said onlooker Cecil B. Mortadellow "Sitting on...

New series of Celebrity Big Brother ‘most sacrificial yet’

As the line up for the new series of Celebrity Big Brother is announced, a Channel 5 insider has revealed that the show's producers may have ulterior motives. While the quality of the cattle used...

Debbie Reynolds Posthumously Wins 2016’s Most Competitive Mum Award

A bad week for the Reynolds family ended on a high note today as mother Debbie was posthumously awarded the Virgin Mary Award for competitive mums. The award was named after the original celebrity upstager...

Victoria Beckham tipped for MBE in New Year’s Honours List

Victoria Beckham's aspirations to become really "posh" were finally realised when it was announced that she will be awarded an OBE in the New Year's Honours List.
Fauxtrage

Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity

A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death of his arch nemesis George Michael and general 2016 shittyness,...

Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...

The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly ended his life just moments after news broke of Carrie...

2016 to do 3 more ‘meh’ deaths before big ‘omfg’ finale on the 31st...

Just before everyone's new favourite actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016 did a couple of 'aw, but they had a good innings' deaths in a trend that's continued throughout the year. Before that, 2016 brutally murdered...

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A mass of floral tribute has already began to appear outside...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts

Connect!