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Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.

Trump marks Martin Luther King weekend with burning cross on White House Lawn

US President elect, Donald Trump, will be hosting a tribute event for Martin Luther Day

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Have you tried turning Trump off and on again…

Technicians were called out this week to reboot Donald Trump, after a catastrophic failure in his programming left him arguing with his own reflection. The call was made on Friday morning, after an aide who...

New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities

The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities. Following a series of articles, many...

Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs

This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.

Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or

Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.

Met Office alert after sighting of Geordie woman wearing jacket in Newcastle

The Met Office has issued an almost unprecedented weather warning this evening after it was reported a woman was spotted on a night out in Newcastle city centre wearing a jacket.

Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if I wasn't a bloke" Mark Ranley, from Doncaster, was criticised on...

Forensics Team called after Amber Rudd murders her career

Home Secretary Amber Rudd sounded like your mate's racist pissed wife at a children's Christmas party during her speech yesterday. West Midlands Police have said the Home Secretary's speech to last year's Conservative Party conference...

No need for Artificial Intelligence, say robots

Robots at Rochdale Community University maintain that advancements in Artificial Intelligence (AI) are not necessary. I was invited to meet Robbie, a MK VII Hawking series robot, at the University's science lab last week.

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr Steph O'Scope said "I think he's reading Zen & The...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from everyone to sod off and die, Mr Hunt has today...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of "cheap, lazy journalists who ran with fake Trump sleaze to...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.


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