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Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech

Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street has commissioned the famous comedian Stephen Fry. Given the smash hit...

“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen

One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one will lead the country oneself. In times of crisis a leader...
Queen and Philip

Queen Elizabeth II refuses to abdicate until she gets a better last Prime Minister...

Queen Elizabeth II has released a statement this afternoon explaining her reasons for staying so long on the throne. It is because she wishes to have a better last Prime Minister than Theresa May. The...

Merkel to read Queen’s Speech in Bundestag

It was announced this afternoon that the Queen's Speech, scheduled to be read by Queen Elizabeth II next Tuesday, will now be read by Angela Merkel next Thursday in the Bundestag. Angela Merkel has requested...
Queen and Philip

Queen’s Speech delayed as Elizabeth II seeks treatment for stress related Tourette’s 

Security has been increased at King Edward VII hospital, where it is believed her Majesty the Queen is currently undergoing treatment for an acute and sudden disorder. A source from inside the hospital told us...

The Queen submits application to be Monarch of any other country

It has come to the Rochdale Herald's attention that Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth the second is seeking a transfer to be the figure head of another nation. HRH submitted her CV in the early...

Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle

The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by which he means Scotland, to break out following Brexit. Retiring from...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now it turns out it’s all about hats. Despite being the...

Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks

Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has revealed his secret. In an exclusive retirement interview he told...
Philip

Prince Philip and Queen Elizabeth facing deportation post Brexit

An Emergency meeting was called at Buckingham palace earlier this week after the penny dropped with Prince Philip in regards to Brexit and complications with European immigration "Oh bollocks, I'm Greek and she's German, what if they send...

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