10.2 C
Rochdale, UK

Trump barred from White House toilets

President Donald Trump has been the first victim of his cancellation of orders compelling universities and other institutions to respect personal identity. Although rescinding the orders was expected to only affect libtard and snowflake university students, and make...

New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...

Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker race’ with market leaders Russia. “Russian prostitutes have been, in my...

Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage

In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House administration. Quentin D. Fortesqueue explained, "The purpose of the Rochdale Herald is...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived ‘pre-exploded, all in bits’. The billionaire had ordered the ‘top of...

Trump Replaces White House With Blimp

President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp. The President is believed to have made the decision in keeping with his campaign promise to never stop surprising...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency gave no further details however unofficial sources have suggested that the...

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American. Not an inventor. Not a patriot. Beeswax UNAMERICAN. Filthy trick. Media...

Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in his position or even existed.  At a press conference on February 14,...

Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day

In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to himself. The painting took a while to get right. He had...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called President's main rally on his upcoming visit to the UK...
Knickersw with Trump written on them

Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media

  White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the lingerie line belonging to President Trump's daughter Ivanka. Spicegirl accused the...

US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of himself. They will be rebranded "the Orange Shirts", be given...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, with a new song, Donald, Donald Uber Alles. When...

Senate approve plans for naughty corner in Oval Office

A White House insider has revealed plans to redesign the Oval Office to help so-called human being, Donald Trump, cope with the rigours of his new job. The actions of S-CPOTUS have generated so much...

Michael Moore to release new ‘Bowling for Bowling Green’ documentary

The renowned liberal film maker made the announcement on his Facebook page earlier today, stating; "After the huge success of my 2002 film, Bowling for Columbine, which explores the Columbine Masacre, my next film is...

RH Exclusive: Excerpt from phone call between Turnbull and Trump

Here at the Rochdale Herald, we’ve managed to get a world exclusive. It’s the leaked transcript of the conversation between President Trump and Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, of Australia. Here is an excerpt. Good morning,...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts

Connect!