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Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration

Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown. Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear words heard in everyday conversation has been doubling on a daily...

Rochdale man has farmville farm repossessed by bailiffs

This week, a local middle aged man had his FarmVille repossessed during a raid on his parents property on Friars Crescent.
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if I wasn't a bloke" Mark Ranley, from Doncaster, was criticised on...
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...
Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid worker from a wall today. The incident happened when Herald journalist,...

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation he gleefully  clicked on the link, not knowing that it...

Feminist nominated for comedy award they didn’t enter after Facebook tirade

Ipswich feminist Leigh Askew has been included on the shortlist for a new category at the British Comedy Awards. The inaugural Funniest Social Media Post award has been included to reward those lesser known comedians...
Latest Trump Campaign Poster

Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention

The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous...

Britain First’s meme maker in coma

As Poppy Day draws ever closer, the strain of making anti Muslim memes has proven to much for Britain First's head of social media, Tommy (No knuckles) Smith, and yesterday he fell off his right-wing...

Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick as a flash posted a comment and slipped in the...
Yahoo website under a magnifying glass

People still use Yahoo!

The world was rocked yesterday when 90's internet sensation Yahoo hit the news for the first time in almost 15 years. News Outlets around the world alleged that Yahoo has 500 Million customers, which came...

Spell Check a Racist crashes Facebook

Facebook was in chaos today after the soaring popularity of the Spell Check a Racist (S.C.A.R.) page caused a stack overflow causing the entire network to grind to a halt. "Sadly, we had no choice...

Sorry about us.

Thousands of very attractive and highly intelligent people were mildly inconvenienced this afternoon following a technical issue at the Herald's data centre. The Rochdale Herald's technical wizard, James Grossweiner Jnr, was performing routine maintenance on...

Taking are speling back!

The new Apple iOS 9.3.6 update is to include a new autocorrect function for words such as muslin, briton and rasict. Computer giants and tax dodging bastards Apple have confirmed that the next update for...

NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project

In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership with WhatsApp to improve access to patient data. WhatsApp, owned by...

Piers Morgan behaves like a d**k on Twitter, again

Piers Morgan has taken to Twitter to characteristically behave like an utter tit today. Morgan, whose only physical accomplishment of note was to fall off a Segway and break two ribs shortly after saying "you'd...

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