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Rochdale, UK
Protests

The Canary calls for Tory MP to resign after failing to wash hands after...

Today The Canary has posted their 1,000th 'breaking news' article, in which 'the Tories are done' and that 'Theresa May must resign.' The far left wing online newspaper, which has been described as ‘the only...
Teenage Boys

I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever

The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got through age verification processes in order to access Adult websites. Teen...
Ross and Rachel

Chilcot Report reveals Ross and Rachel WERE on a break

With the kind of speed, thoroughness and ability to keep his finger on Britain’s zeitgeist that has come to be expected from him, the Chilcott report into Ross and Rachel’s ‘Break’ has finally been...
Man laughing

Serious satirists no laughing matter

150-times winner of the 12-monthly Rochdale Herald annual 'Best satirical news site, based in Rochdale', the Rochdale Herald, has recently left readers puzzled.   It is claimed that the Herald has taken to being serious...

Daily Mail redefines fascism as anyone who upsets them

Fascism is bad. Really bad. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly bad it is.  I mean you may think it's unpleasant when someone calls you stupid, but that's just peanuts to fascism. Listen. To...
Daily Express Readers

Daily Express launches Diana 20th anniversary commemorative sticker album

The Daily Express and Panini have announce the launch of a commemorative sticker album for the 20th anniversary of the late Princess Diana. Express readers will be given the opportunity to purchase the album for...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity activist and wrapped it up with an attention-grabbing headline using...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily Mail and told the Herald, "In our world there is...
Angry People

Rochdale Herald distances itself from Rochdale Herald Online question whether Daily Mail Editor Paul...

We are aware this may make us appear terribly foolish. The Rochdale Herald Editor, the late Quentin D Fortesqueue, is seething about the lack of comprehension amongst the respective readerships of the difference between the...

Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...

In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit song, 'Mrs Robinson', from the classic movie, The Graduate. It appears...

Muslims damage white man’s van outside mosque, screams Daily Mail

Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury. Simply saying that some idiot had driven into a crowd of...
The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to blame. The Mail did not quite write “Have-A-Go Hero Attempts To...

Channel 4 on course to disappear up its own arse

Channel 4 have announced a new meta-programming initiative with which it hopes to exceed the success of the Gogglebox franchise. The new programming will further abstract the viewer from the action under discussion, creating...
Daily Mail Readers

Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...

The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell tower blaze. The 'news source' which has access to files that...

Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns

The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer. In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths lack of home ownership, lack of interest in house prices...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger was said to look 'visibly shaken', as he frantically searched...

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