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Even Hitler didn’t treat his press secretary as badly as this says Sean Spicer

Sean Spicer has been explaining how badly he has been treated by Donald Trump. Speaking to an assembled press corps Mr Spicer said, "Even Hitler didn't treat his press secretary this badly."  Several reporters looked...

Argentina demand the return of Love Island

Britain has become embroiled in an unexpected diplomatic farrago as ITV2’s ‘Love Island’ draws to a dramatic close with Argentina demanding the return of the island. The problem appears to have started with a surprise...
White Walkers

HS2 in doubt as MP’s raise concerns over giving White Walker access to high...

Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health and safety concerns. The major concern stems from the worry that...

School sex education classes to be replaced by Love Island

School sex education classes are rubbish and should be replaced by episodes of Love Island it has been decided. Justine Greening said, "Learning to draw the reproductive organs is pretty pointless from the point of...
Ryanair

Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes

Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO Michael O'Leary has surprised the industry by instead cutting the...

BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis

Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea breaks) trying to eliminate the gender pay gap at the...
Southern Rail

After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England

Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct Southern Train. Beavers, once natural to Great Britain, have successfully re-established...

Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE) 1984 has been updated to include a right to dispense...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg to be put out to stud

Jacob Rees-Mogg MP is reported to be in the process of choosing a nice green field near to his family home at Wentworth Woodhouse where he will father the next generation of conservative voters...
Peeing Cyclist

Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...

Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests. Chopper Raleigh said, "It's always nice to be recognised. Not everyone...

Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey

Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with the Russian Government. In a statement to James Comey Mr Trump...

Health scare over psychotic illness which only infects BMW OWNERS!!!

Doctors at Central Rochdale Asylum for Psychosis have issued a health warning over a virus which only infects BMW owners. Doctors have, however, begun work on antiviral treatments. Dr Anita Slowdown explained the symptoms: "First...
Donald Trump

Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...

An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump that he has - complete power to pardon anyone, anywhere,...

Whatever gave you the impression I will deal with student debt asks man who...

A man who distinctly said that he’d “deal with” student debt during an interview with the NME is curious to know why everybody was under the impression that he planned to deal with student...
Corbyn

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student debt on the Andrew Marr show. The move, designed to distract...

BBC resolves gender pay gap crisis

Human Resources managers at the BBC have been working tirelessly throughout the weekend, completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea breaks, trying to eliminate the gender pay gap at...

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