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Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and over again'. Topeka, Kansas, and following God's stunning comeback on Sunday,...
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to a denial issued by President Trump in response to a...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The release of the puzzles is timed to capitalise on Trump’s...
Ivan Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After taking President Daddy Trump's seat at the top table during...
Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all times, the Rochdale Herald has learned. At a press conference, he...

Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s

President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The spontaneous outpouring of emotions have moved him in a way...
Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a rock, paper, scissor handshake test. The world’s media were watching and...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of a four day European tour. Speaking in front of a large...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him on Airforce One.    President Trump is in Germany to...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing speech. The crowd, some bussed in by the ruling party from...
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best known for his recurring role as Third Klingon in Star...

US celebrates Independence Day by ceding from Trump

Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as President of The United States of America, The Rochdale Herald...
Independence Day

Trump leads Independence day celebrations by honouring Goldblum and Smith

It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate the sacrifice made by thousands of colonial rebels, so that...
Book

Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists

As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit, where it is acceptable to proclaim "Brexit means Brexit" and...
Ivanka Trump

Woman in post due to nepotism decries unfairness

Ivanka Trump, an unqualified and unelected US Government representative who is in post entirely due to nepotism has complained that the media is unfair and nasty. The daughter of Donald J Trump, who ran the...
Trump

Sadiq Khan Trumps Donald Trump

The White House confirmed today that Donald Trump's international approval ratings have never been higher. The surge in love has been caused by Trump receiving a smack down to one of his informed tweets. The...

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