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Wrandle River

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Corbyn

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...
video

Sean Spicer to be the reassuring new voice of Southern Rail

It was reported this morning that Southern Rail are headhunting Sean Spicer to be the new, reassuring voice of the beleaguered train service. It's thought...

Homeopaths proposal for huge protest march against NHS cuts watered down

Homeopaths planning a protest march against NHS cuts have begun watering down their plans. The United Kingdom’s largest association of diluted medicine, Et Aqua, initially...

Homeopaths to protest NHS cut with one person million man march

Homeopaths are to warn Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt that he faces severe blowback from them if he does not reverse the cut to homeopathic...

Five year old lemonade salesman found guilty of tax evasion after multi-million pound VAT...

A five year old girl has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of tax evasion after a multi-million pound VAT investigation. The girl, clearly...
Theresa May

Theresa May rehearsing upcoming Brexit u-turn while on hill walking holiday

"It will be my most challenging about face yet." The Prime Minister is reported to have informed her cabinet as they prepared to disband...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

Neil Armstrong’s body to be exhumed and tested for moon dust

President Donald Trump is understood to have ordered an investigation into whether or not the first moon landing ever happened on this day in...
Bomb Squad

New Samsung Galaxy Note 8 to be unveiled by military bomb disposal unit

Samsung have hit the press with the announcement that their new Galaxy Note 8 device will be unveiled in August by military bomb disposal...

Scientists prove dementia risk reduced by not reading The Sun

Scientists at the Rochdale Institute for Cerebral Health have released the results of a long running study into dementia and how not reading The...
Idris Elba

Idris Elba to play Mary Poppins in long awaited Disney remake

Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins. Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie...

HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Michael Gove Game of Thrones

Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing

Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros. It's believed Mr Gove...

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