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Wrandle River

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Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit

The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety. A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

“Theresa May is signalling distress.” Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. “Do you see...

Paul Nuttall Converted To Judaism

Reports are circulating that investigators digging into the unbelievable past of the UKIP Leader have unearthed a 2004 MySpace page entry in which Paul Nuttall announced...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
Bank of England

Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die

Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad...
Nigel Farage with Hitler moustache

Why Has Farage Been Visiting Argentina?

Nigel Farage faced questions from reporters today over his connection with a private fertility clinic in Argentina. Farage, currently on sabbatical from the UKIP leadership,...

Trump Invades Iraq

President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...

Corbyn Publicly Apologies For Labour Lords

It's been widely reported that the House of Lords struck a severe blow to British democracy last night. The blow, sponsored by a rogue...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...

White House CCTV confirms Obama listening to Trump in Oval Office

Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House. The footage, captured in...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...

William and Kate To Tour North Korea

Prince William and Kate Middleton are to take a break from producing sovereigns for the Royal Mint and tour North Korea. Foreign Secretary Boris...

Lords Punish May With Dance

Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

Farage To Sell Knighthood

Sir Nigel Farage surprised many in the realm this morning when he put his newly acquired knighthood up for sale on eBay. "I was going...

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