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Wrandle River

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NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs

Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning. The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...
Pope and Trump

Pope Officiates At Funeral For US Democracy

There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for...
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...

Netanyahu Furious After Trump Scores Israel Lower Than Saudi Arabia In TripAdvisor Review

Prime Minister Netanyahu demanded an apology from the White House today. The move came after Donald Trump scored his Israeli short stay lower than Saudi Arabia...

Trump Perfected Curtsy For Saudi King Salman

Donald Trump's impeachment looked ever more certain in the last few days after images were released of him curtsying before King Salman of Saudi...
Angry Toddler

Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations

David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...

Ched Evans Discusses Staying Safe In Public Spaces

"Gun and knife crime are serious risks." Ched opens the first in a serious of new public safety videos developed by "Don't Know Thyself Productions." Standing...
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...

All toddlers are Tories scientists confirm

Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories. "They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr....
Corbyn

CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud

Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...

BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct

Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters. The shock extinction...

Prince Philip Declares He Will Only Die In Battle

The Queen's husband and consort, Philip "The Swagger" Windsor, has revealed he is privately wishing for renewed hostilities with "that red headed rabble", by...
Nigel Farage with Hitler moustache

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...
Prime Minister

Prime Minister not taking donations from millionaires for granted

The Tory spin doctors are especially busy this morning on the nation's airwaves ensuring everybody they are not taking yesterday's electoral results as a...

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