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Toxteth O'Grady

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Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...

Homes burning down better than house prices going down say Kensington Council

Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week. The council's...

Paul Simon to redo one of his biggest hits in tribute to ex EDL...

In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that super succesful singer songwriter, Paul Simon, is working on a rewrite of the hit...
Music Fesitval

This week already pissed off with itself and planning a holiday

Millions of Microsoft outlook users are about to receive an unexpected update in their calendars. The Rochdale Herald has just received an email from an...

Coroner rules man killed by falling trophy cabinet victim of his own success

The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was...

Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses

The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...

Fish in a barrel given all clear after May misses them by a mile

In a world exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered another plan of Theresa May's has recently backfired. It is believed to have involved a...

UK disqualified from piss up in a brewery world championship

After the snap, crackle and pop election called by Theresa May has resulted in a hung parliament, it's clear that the repercussions reach further...

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Facebook to release new emoji for General Election

It's three weeks till the nation goes to the polls for the third time in three years and the media coverage is increasing and...
Fidget Spinners

Fidget Spinners useful to distract children from the bleak reality of future under Conservatives

The latest craze sweeping the nation and captivating kids of all ages is the fidget spinner. Originally designed to aid development, coordination, dexterity and to...
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from...

Farage delighted to be named UK’s top racist

Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his...
Arsene Wenger

Corbyn hires Arsene Wenger as Labour Manager

It appears that politics will see a tornado of excitement and enthusiasm as Jeremy Corbyn is planning to bring in the current Arsenal manager...

OED to introduce new terms for despicable journalism

Following some recent "newspaper" headlines, a source at the Oxford English Dictionary has revealed some new words to be introduced to accurately describe some...
Paul Nuttall

Bottoms up for Nuttall

In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past. "Now...

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