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Charlie Stuart

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Angry White Man Daily Mail

Government hires Daily Mail readers to beef up security strategy

Downing Street has announced plans to employ Daily Mail readers as a team of specialist civilian advisers as it steps up efforts to improve...

People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds

People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research. The study, which...
Sergei Lavrov

Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director

Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...

Tories to pledge crackdown on food bankers’ bonuses

A leaked copy of the Conservative Party's election manifesto has revealed plans to crackdown on 'luxury' items being handed out to those forced to...

50 Shades of Grey author denies responsibility for Tory surge

The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire...

Vicar attacked for dropping Easter from Easter Sunday

A 45 year-old Rochdale man is recovering in hospital today after being attacked for not referring to this coming Sunday as ‘Easter Sunday’. The victim,...

United Airlines passengers have it easy, complain Ryanair passengers

Following reports of a United Airlines passenger being violently removed from an overbooked flight on Sunday, angry Ryanair passengers have demanded to know why...

Disney Confirm Little Mermaid Killed By North Korean Missile Launch

Within the past few minutes the Walt Disney Company has released a statement confirming that Ariel, the Little Mermaid, was killed during Wednesday's North...

Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'. Fox...
Sturgeon

Will of the Scottish People Revealed to be Sturgeon’s Imaginary Friend

An SNP insider has revealed that Nicola Sturgeon’s repeated use of the phrase ‘Will of the Scottish People’ is actually a reference to her...

Local Liberal Claims To Only Visit Daily Mail Website For The Tits And Ass

Rochdale liberal Gerard Sutherland has told his wife that he only visits the Daily Mail website for the Z-list 'celebrity' tits and ass, and...

Cats claim they definitely won’t eat your face, probably

In the event of you suffering a serious accident that leaves you dead or incapacitated, your cat, definitely won’t eat your face, probably, a...

The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book

The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.  As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan to be face of ‘Free The Ballbag’ campaign

Piers Morgan has been revealed as the new face of men's rights campaign 'Free the Ballbag'. Inspired by the feminist 'Free The Nipple' movement, the...

Iain Duncan Smith appointed to North Korean Cabinet

Within the last hour, the North Korean Central News Agency has confirmed the appointment of Iain Duncan Smith as its new ‘Secretary for the...

Britons Now Incapable Of Making Any Decision Without A Referendum

The majority of British people are now incapable of making a decision without first holding a referendum, according to a study published today. Researchers...

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