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Charlie Stuart

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Well, this is awkward.
Big Ben

Big Ben to be renamed Massive Mohammed from 2018

Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London's rich cultural heritage. The famous landmark, which is due...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Amazon Delivery

China refuses to sign for North Korea’s Amazon deliveries as part of far reaching...

In a move that is likely to further raise tensions on the Korean Peninsula, China has announced that it will no longer sign for North Korea’s Amazon deliveries. The...
Empty bus seats

Thirty nine bus seats arrested in counter-terrorism operation

In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist...

Nicholas Witchell tasered during naked Prince Philip coup attempt

The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace. According to eyewitnesses, the journalist...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have...
Office Worker

Study finds 50% of working day spent pretending to give a fuck about co-workers’...

Over 50% of the average working day is taken up pretending to give a fuck about other people's children, according to new research. A study...

Marvel say Super-Gonorrhoea ‘unlikely’ to feature in new Avengers movie

Marvel Studios have confirmed that there are currently no plans for the gonorrhoea 'superbug' to star in its next instalment of the Avengers franchise. Referred to...

Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown

Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown. An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who...
Corbyn

‘GO HARD OR GO HOME’ Corbyn screams at Shadow Cabinet

Three Labour frontbenchers have been sacked and a fourth has resigned after voting for a Queen's speech amendment calling for Britain to remain within...
Man Relaxing

Man’s life improves after running out of fucks to give

The life of a Rochdale man has improved immeasurably after he finally ran out of fucks to give. Office manager James Harding, 38, ran...

Britain First release ‘terrorist-proof’ onesie

Britain First have revealed what they claim to be the first ever 'terrorist-proof' clothing – a onesie made entirely from bacon. Called the 'baconsie', the...

Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview

A complaint is to be lodged after a Sun reporter allegedly attempted to secure an interview with a Grenfell Tower resident, by posing as...

Sun reporter accused of posing as human being to secure Grenfell Tower interview

A complaint is to be lodged after a Sun reporter allegedly attempted to secure an interview with a Grenfell Tower resident, by posing as...

Hammond unfortunately uninjured in horror car crash

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, Phillip Hammond, has just released a statement confirming that he was uninjured in Thursday's car crash of an election. The...

DUP offer to support May if she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse

The Democratic Unionist Party has offered to support Theresa May's minority government on the condition that she kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse, according...

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