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Steven Black

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I probably don't like you.

Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour

News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...
Money

Nigerian Prince perplexed no one wants free money

Prince Terry Ojukwu III, of Nigeria, recently ran into financial difficulties when his bank fell into administration, leaving him just 24 hours to withdraw...
Angry

Rochdale man who’s never voted pledges to ‘bring down Torie scum’ by voting Green

Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...
Theresa may

Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...
iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl

Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago. Her...
Farage pulling a funny face

Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...

Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson

The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara...

Michael Moore to release new ‘Bowling for Bowling Green’ documentary

The renowned liberal film maker made the announcement on his Facebook page earlier today, stating; "After the huge success of my 2002 film, Bowling for...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters...

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...

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