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Steven Black

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I probably don't like you.
Noel Edmunds

Noel Edmunds to head up Brexit negotiations armed with 28 red boxes

Failed entertainer and minister for Brexit, David Davis, will take centre stage in a Deal or No Deal special to be aired on Dave...
amunition

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

Prince Charles spotted throne shopping in Harrods

The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported. "He was...
bottles of water

New Juice Plus rival Juice Minus to include ‘no juice’

It's that time of the year again when everyone makes doomed to fail resolutions but, fear not, there's a new product on the market...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...
Rick Astley

Rick Astley gives up turns around and deserts you

The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death...

Stop being puffs about the word gay Clarkson tells queers

In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this...

Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...

The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly...

2016 to do 3 more ‘meh’ deaths before big ‘omfg’ finale on the 31st...

Just before everyone's new favourite actress Carrie Fisher died, 2016 did a couple of 'aw, but they had a good innings' deaths in a...
George Michael

George Michael dead after ‘giving away’ 33rd heart

The 80’s pop sensation, 90’s cop-bothering loiterer and noughties stoner George Michael sadly died at home 'peacefully in his sleep.' The Wham! front man was...

Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco

Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that...

David Cameron having pigs in blankets for Christmas

A close friend of the Camerons', who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the former PM 'is looking forward to his Christmas day...

A Christmas Carol reimagined by new Ministry of Truth to promote thrift

The iconic Christmas tale has been edited by the new government department to 'instill a sense of fiscal caution' in the nation's youth. The new...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...

Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop

 In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...

Lidl gravy to hit £110 per litre

The budget supermarket is set to raise chicken and meat gravy prices after it was revealed that they both contain xylene, a chemical found...

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