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Steven Black

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I probably don't like you.
Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth ‘can’t wait’ to draw his pension

Following the news today that the government of the United Kingdom will shortly be raising the retirement age to 168 years old Bruce Forsyth...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

May criticised for scheduling Queen’s speech on Day of Rage

After weeks of uncertainty tinged with tragedy, the hard right fanatical Tories have been hammering out a deal with the DUP, which will finally...

Right wing extremist appears on Good Morning Britain to interview Tommy Robinson

Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was...

Kaiser Chiefs hurriedly rerelease ‘I Predict a Riot’

As crowds of surprisingly calm protesters gather at Westminister to demand the resignation of the recently elected droid, Maybot 2.0, The Kaiser Chiefs are...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger...
Theresa May

Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail, in...

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Doctor

Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google

A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto. The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...
Hippies Hippy

Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak

Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...

Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...

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