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Rochdale, UK
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Steven Black

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I probably don't like you.

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Doctor

Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google

A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto. The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...
Hippies Hippy

Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak

Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...

Jeremy Corbyn insists he’ll remain Labour leader even after death

Serial metaphorical and actual seat avoider, and leader of a thousand students ineligible to vote, Jeremy Corbyn, has announced that nothing will stop him ruining the...

Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...

Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour

News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...
Money

Nigerian Prince perplexed no one wants free money

Prince Terry Ojukwu III, of Nigeria, recently ran into financial difficulties when his bank fell into administration, leaving him just 24 hours to withdraw...

Rochdale man who’s never voted pledges to ‘bring down Torie scum’ by voting Green

Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...
Theresa may

Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...
iPhones

Public stunned to learn injustice happened before everyone could film it on an iPhone...

After a week of violent plane evictions and shows of defiance at protests, Professor of History at Rochdale's Community University, Polly Technic, said; "Injustice has been...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

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