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Steven Black

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I probably don't like you.

Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl

Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago. Her...
Nigel Farage

Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...
Alf Garnett

Love Thy Neighbour and Till Death do us Part set to get reboots.

The BBC and ITV have both announced this week that they intend reviving certain 'classic' 70's sitcoms because of the current fashion for being...

Paul Nutall announces he’s going to be the next Doctor

Early last week news broke that Peter Capaldi will stepping down from the iconic role after this year's Christmas special. Speculation has been rife as...

Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson

The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara...

Michael Moore to release new ‘Bowling for Bowling Green’ documentary

The renowned liberal film maker made the announcement on his Facebook page earlier today, stating; "After the huge success of my 2002 film, Bowling for...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters...

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...

Panic as 2015 Pence Tweet emerges stating ‘Genocide is wrong and unconstitutional’

The old Tweet was discovered just a day after another one of Pence's was found, also from 2015, which read 'Calls to ban Muslims...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...

Trump using Martin Luther King bust as a door stop after returning Churchill to...

Black Lives Matter protesters are up in arms after it was reported that President Trump is using the White House's Martin Luther King bust as a door stop.

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Shouty man

‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law

A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear. We caught...

Government to solve doctor shortage by drafting in Job Centre  assessors

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt outlined plans today to "fill the doctor void" with medically untrained Job Centre staff. The move has come under heavy criticism...

Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration

Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday. Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said; "Its nothing...
Noel Edmunds

Noel Edmunds to head up Brexit negotiations armed with 28 red boxes

Failed entertainer and minister for Brexit, David Davis, will take centre stage in a Deal or No Deal special to be aired on Dave...

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