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Scott Zsalt

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.
Ivanka Trump

Woman in post due to nepotism decries unfairness

Ivanka Trump, an unqualified and unelected US Government representative who is in post entirely due to nepotism has complained that the media is unfair...
face palm

March Against Hate Wins World Irony Cup

The World Irony Championship has been cancelled for 2017 after anti-Muslims calling themselves UK Against Hate held a march against extremism. “We normally wait until...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...

Big Bruva

Millions are in shock today after discovering that Big Brother is still a thing, whilst their fans are horrified that the utter numpties they...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age

Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...

Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee

The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences. "It's an outrage!" stated...

Facebook in league with mouse manufacturers

Mouse manufacturers are celebrating at the moment at the future increase in sales caused by Facebook’s determined but ultimately futile attempt to make you...

Vic Reeves Corrie Storyline Leaked

After news broke this week that one half of comic duo Reeves and Mortimer had landed a role in Coronation Street, technerds immediately got...

Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist

Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race. After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...

Party with nothing to hide announce plan to close Serious Fraud Office

Conservative plans to abolish the Serious Fraud Office has absolutely nothing to do with the investigations into rich Conservative supporters,said a spokesgrunt for the...
Putin

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. “Trump come to...

Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low

The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a...

Russians say Donald Trump and Mr Blobby never seen in room together

Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past. “We look into all...
Snapchat

Ransomware means government absolutely definitley needs to read your Snapchat

The recent ransomware attack on the NHS and many others across the world definitely means that GCHQ need to read your email, announced...
iPhone

Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...

Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase...

You can’t trust a man with a beard says Daily Express

Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto. “Sounds...

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