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Scott Zsalt

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.

Obviously McCanns done it, case closed by bloke down the pub

After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal. “It’s...
Power Station

Tories not free market enough for money grabbing Conn man

Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate...
Tim Farron

Party that said it would only form coalition with Tories confused why people think...

That bloke in charge of the Liberal Democrats and Vince Cable are confused today as people keep calling them Tory lite. “We’re totally against Brexit,”...

Obviously you should agree with me, it’s 2017 say progressives, obviously

People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year. “It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I...
Stickupthearseitis

Stickupthearseitis

A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Aliens

Aliens call off attack due to lack of funny title for this article

Giant brain-sucking aliens from the R33-Delta 1 Q’Luurfb system have put back their planned invasion of the planet Earth we can exclusively reveal today. The...
Theresa May

Maggie May announces snap election

Theresa May, the unelected Prime Minister has called a snap election. “Many of the old racists are likely to die before my five years are...
gavel and block

Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney

As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
Massive Bomb

Dropping Massive Bomb on Afghanistan not warning to North Korea Spicer tells press conference

The fact that Americans have used a big fuck-off bomb when North Korea and Trump are engaged in a major sabre rattle is just...
Outrage

All w**ds to be b*nned to avoid offending p***ks

All words and language in all forms and formats are to be banned from next week for all eternity. The reason for the multi-party agreed...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...

Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret

Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin. "Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...

UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies

Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires. The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...
Sean Spicer

Sean Spicer suspended from Labour Party over Hitler comments

Tom Watson has announced this morning that the White House press secretary, Sean Spicer is to be investigated by the Labour Party for anti-Semitic...
Southern Rail

Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service

Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...
Boris Johnson

Downing Street all go for Bojo Moscow no show

Downing Street has defended its decision not to send Boris Johnson to Russia on Monday. The decision came in the aftermath of the chemical weapons...

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