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Quentin D Fortesqueue

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.

Michael O’Leary knocks doctor unconscious and drags him onto underbooked Ryanair flight

Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...

Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists

The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.

Syrian Parents outraged by cost of Trips to Disneyland

Syrian parents took to social media yesterday in support of Jon Platt, the British father who the Supreme Court deemed to have broken the...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...
Barry Manilow

If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope

Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Bob Marley

Bob Marley suspended from Labour Party over claims iron lions are from Zion

Scandal has hit the beleaguered former political party, the Labour Party, this morning after a kangaroo court voted to suspend the dead Rastafarian singer...

People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...

The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.

We must stick to our principles, says woman not sticking to her principles

Former Remain campaigner and comedy Prime Minister impersonator Theresa May told the British people that it's really important to stick to your principles shortly...

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...

Foreign Aid for starving babies is wasteful say countries who landfill more food than...

The Foreign Aid budget is a waste of money according to arseholes in the U.K. Who throw out more food every year than they...

ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity

ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.

Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire

A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...

Barrack’s is at least three times bigger than Donald’s says Melania

Melania Trump has sensationally revealed that Barrack Obama has a really big one, it is at least three times the size of Donald's. "Donald is...

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