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Nosmo King

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French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter

France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...

Whitehaven and Cumbria to Leave UK Launch of Cumbria Independence Party CUMFUK

Emboldened by her landslide victory in the Copeland By-Election, new MP Trudy Harrison has announced that she is leaving the Conservative Party to campaign...

Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous

The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours. They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...

Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...

Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.  During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...

US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...

Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service

US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties. The "Piñata National...

La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’

La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...

DJ Dave’s 80’s FunHouse Mobile Disco Confirmed for Trump Inauguration

After the high profile withdrawals of many A-List celebrities, and the frankly embarrassing refusal of a string of tribute acts & pub singers, Donald...
Car parked over two spaces

Sexism Claim Over Parking Abuse

A driver has defended parking his car across two spaces in a supermarket car park saying "no one would have batted an eyelid if...

Forensics Team called after Amber Rudd murders her career

Home Secretary Amber Rudd sounded like your mate's racist pissed wife at a children's Christmas party during her speech yesterday. West Midlands Police have said...

Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi

Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi! In...

Northern Shithole Celebrates UK Capital of Culture with Pie and Peas and a Knobbly...

About 60,000 people came out in Hull to watch a Burger Eating Contest & Arm Wrestling show to mark the start of the city's...

Scarborough Earthquake Appeal

At 01:00 on Tuesday 3rd January, Britain's worst quake for 25 years hit Scarborough, Yorkshire measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale and causing untold...

Beautiful South Issue Product Recall Over “Song for Whomever”

Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South has apologised to fans and recalled all recordings after a significant grammatical error came to light on "Song...

Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”

Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up. "I never intended it" he...

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