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Nosmo King

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Russians

Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
Corbyn

Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout

Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone. He will tell supporters that, under...

Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level

Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...

Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team

The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last...

Police and HMRC raid Arsenal after silver polish claim on VAT return

More tax scandal has hit the Premier League last night after police swooped on the Arsenal stadium after they tried to claim the VAT...

Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader

Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...

Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said...

Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...

The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading. Founded in...

Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament

Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury. In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...
Miliband

Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker

Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...

Waitrose Launch Free From Flavour and Common Sense Range in London Stores

Waitrose are launching a range of food that will taste of nothing and cost "shit-loads more" in their London stores. Quentin Danvers, Head of Pretentious...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...

Donald Trump’s Golf Partner Outraged at Sexist Muirfield

Rory McIlroy, who plays golf with a man who openly questioned Hilary Clinton's ability to sexually satisfy her husband, has continued his criticism of...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...

Sturgeon triggers IndyRef 2 after house lands on sister

Nicola Sturgeon sensationally called for an independence referendum after a house came seemingly from nowhere and landed on her sister. Speaking through an interpreter she...

Sturgeon Calls for Scots Independence to save British Lions Tour

Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward to save the British Lions Tour to New Zealand. Speaking in the aftermath of Scotland's...

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