15.3 C
Rochdale, UK
Home Authors Posts by Jodie Knott

Jodie Knott

78 POSTS 0 COMMENTS
High mistress of the underworld, destroyer of souls, collector of small pottery cats. Also one of the country's premier frock enthusiasts.
Tangled Wires

Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists

A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.  The physics department of...

Let’s get this over with Says Queen

Her Majesty the Queen has today told the government "Let's get this over with. I've got a horse in the 3pm at Ascot". Her worshipfulness...
Plain wooden coffin

Rochdale man takes own life after using the word “Stat”

Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the...
Angry Man

Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend

Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning. As millions of us check up on the...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for...
Survivor

Last PPI claimant found alive and well

The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.  After years of...

BBC in new accusations of bias

Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the...
Brexiter

Daily Mail reveal United Airlines assault victim once had an overdue library book

It has been revealed today that Dr David Dao, the passenger on a United Airlines flight who was beaten for sitting in a seat...

Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail

A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.  Colin Nigelsson, a...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed

The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...

Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst

Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...

People confused over what Testing is for

Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned. Idiots the country over were...
Snow on trees

Britain urged to get used to winter

With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts