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Galatian

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Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team

UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...

Trump’s spin doctor quits complaining of dizzy spells

Donald Trump's chief spin doctor Tuesday quit his job in the White House complaining of "dizzy spells". Mike Dubke, who only took up the role...
Lucy Worsley

Lucy Worsley to front 10 part series on History of Lucy Worsley

Dishy blonde TV historian Lucy Worsley Monday announced that she will be presenting a new 10 part series "The Entire History of Lucy Worsley". The new...
Jeremy Hunt

Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records

NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked. “Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...

Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact

UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England andWales, in a disastrous showing in Thursday's local council elections...

Outrage as Dawn French confirmed for lead role in The Diane Abbot Story

Anti-racism campaigners were up in arms Wednesday following the news that Dawn French has been chosen to play the lead role in the upcoming...

Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban

International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Whiskey

Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania

Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

Tim Farron tells press ‘I can’t wait to be in charge after election’

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron feels his party is heading for glory, glory hallelujah in the newly called June election, and that he is...

Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry

A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...

Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit

  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a...

Scientists name new species of pot-bellied pig after Paul Golding

Hot on the heels of naming a new species of shrimp after wall breaking rockers Pink Floyd, zoologists have named a newly discovered sub-species...
Spice Girls

Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall

Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...

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