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Galatian

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Batman and Robin demand exemption from UKIP Burqa ban

International fictional crime fighting duo Batman and Robin Tuesday issued a writ demanding exemption from UKIP's planned blanket ban on burqas which the party...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Whiskey

Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania

Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

Tim Farron tells press ‘I can’t wait to be in charge after election’

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron feels his party is heading for glory, glory hallelujah in the newly called June election, and that he is...

Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry

A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...

Trump demands to be “Showered in Gold” during UK visit

  The spokesman explained that, during his visit in October, President Trump will be shown all the normal formalities accorded to a visiting US president. These include a...

Scientists name new species of pot-bellied pig after Paul Golding

Hot on the heels of naming a new species of shrimp after wall breaking rockers Pink Floyd, zoologists have named a newly discovered sub-species...
Spice Girls

Sean Spicer to reform Spice Girls with former band-mate Paul Nuttall

Disgraced former White House press spokesman Sean "Ginger" Spicer has announced that he plans to return to his original career as an air headed exponent of...

Manilow ditches piano for oboe

In a shock move American pianist singer songwriter Barry Manilow has announced that he is abandoning the piano in favour of the oboe. Manilow said...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...

BBC to Celebrate April 1st as Farage Day

The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as "Farage Day", in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former...

Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles

The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...
Paddington Bear

Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru

Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...

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