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Henry Chinaski

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Daily Mail Exposed as a False Newspaper

Jonathan Harmswoth, 4th Viscount of Rothermere, controlling shareholder and current chairman of the Daily Mail has finally come clean and admitted that the newspaper...

Donald Trump in ‘lumpy fart’ scare

Security was tighter than Trump's nipsy last night at a Republican rally, as it was revealed he very nearly shat himself. The crowd at the...

Vazeline Intensive Care

Labour MP Keith Vaz, who recently quit as Chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee is claimed to have claimed that there was nothing...

Mugabe is a Hologram

The Herald was startled today upon  learning that Zimbabwean President Robert Gabriel Mugabe is nothing more than an elaborate attempt to convince people that...

Dogged Victory for Campaigners

The city was jubilant this morning after the news that a lengthy battle to grant one of Rochdale's most popular locations the status as...

War of the Roses: The Rematch

Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 1.8.16/7.8.16

Apologies for missing last week, but nothing interesting happened in your pathetic lives anyway. And I knew it wouldn't, so I felt I deserved...

That’ll Show Them…

Racists reacted with predictable denial today when faced with the reality that the punishments they frequently recommend for those seeking asylum, immigrants and generally...

Em-Jezzlement

Jeremy Corbyn was embroiled in yet another scandal today, which could permanently put paid to his chances of success in the Labour Party leadership...

You’re In Or You’re Out

Casual racism is set to become a thing of the past under new Prime Minister Theresa May. Shoe-obsessed Theresa May has announced plans to eradicate...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 18.7.16/24.7.16

Thanks to a weekend ripped to the tits on PCP, mescaline, cocaine and cheap speed, I have been enduring hideous hallucinations and nightmarish visions,...

Hell in a Handcart

Devil worshippers across Rochdale reacted angrily this afternoon to news that one of their most popular practices is to be banned under incoming government...

Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace

Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...

Weekly Horoscopes With Olivia Astro – 11.7.17/17.7.16

Aries ? A visit to the dentist will end in both oral and mental discomfort when you wake up early from the completely unnecessary anaesthetic...

Dirty Politics

Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...

Hokey Cokey is Jiggery-Pokery

Eminent Rochdale-born Professor of Metaphysics, Quinton Feltchworthy shook the worlds of science, mathematics and philosophy to their very foundations yesterday when he published an...

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