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Adam

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Marine A

Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’

The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...

Prince Philip says secret to easy life is having somebody to iron your socks

Everyone is always talking about the youthful composure of our national treasure Prince Phillip. Now his retirement has been announced, the spritely Greek has...
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong Un claims he is six months away from being able to launch...

In a further act of provocation, North Korea says it has conducted yet another controversial social message test. The claim was bellowed out over the...

Islam a lifestyle choice, says man who chose rabidly Islamophobic lifestyle

In a desperate attempt to justify religious persecution, a foaming bigot from Croydon has declared that Islam is a lifestyle choice and therefore fair...
Bleeding figure of Christ

PC BBC bans ‘graphically violent’ crucifixion depictions for Easter

In a controversial move, the BBC has announced it will be 'normalising' it's guidelines for showing scenes of violence, by banning all images of...

Couldn’t organise a piss up at a brewery now Couldn’t open an envelope at...

People bored with ways of describing the gross ineptitude they see around them on a daily basis in work, in the media, in government and politics...

Public unsure what to believe after Nuttall admits ‘Everything I say is a lie’

In another reputation-busting move, Paul Nuttall has stumped logicians and shocked the wider world with the classic Liar's or Epimenides Paradox by saying; "Everything I...

Sweden attack was 100 times worse than The Bowling Green Massacre says Kellyanne Conway

More details are emerging of the savage attack somewhere in Sweden on Thursday, or perhaps Wednesday involving one or less unknown assailants. In a shocking...
Tony Blair

Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic

After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...

Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day

In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...

Church of England still utterly irrelevant clergy decide

After a long and protracted three year conversation with one another, Anglican clerics in silly fancy dress have said marriage should only be between...

Trump launches intercontinental Tweet at North Korea

POTUS and orange spacehopper Donald Trump has reacted angrily to the first North Korean missile test since he took office. The massive and overwhelming response...

Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet

The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...

US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...

‘No such thing as a moderate Muslim’ says right-wing extremist nut-job

John Rant, an out of work shopping trolley attendant and EDL member from Rochdale, has once again taken to social media to claim there...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...

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