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Adam

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electric fan

Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday

Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...

Outrage in Rochdale over proposed Santa suit ban

Rochdale religious groups are screaming red white and blue murder over a proposed ban on the traditional Santa suit. This follows the New Year outrage...
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It...
Secret Santa

Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa

We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers. Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable...
Drone

ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal

An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...

Britain First’s Paul Golding to release prison memoir ‘My Struggul’

In tribute to the rabidly anti-Jewish fascist Adolf Hitler, the rabidly anti-Muslim fascist Paul Golding, former leader of Britain First, will be doing a...

British taxpayers waste £280 million to build miniature luxury motorway on tiny island

St Helena has just seen the completion of a spanking brand new airport... sorry motorway.  All the latest materials and construction techniques were employed to...
Donald Trump

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to...

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope...
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...

Churchill, Bill Clinton, Castro estates involved in Cuban cigar crisis

The demise of Castro has triggered a dangerous standoff between East and West superpowers.  Upon the news of the death of Castro shares in antique...

Websites using increasingly devious methods to attract clicks

Thanks for your support sucker.
Medals

Royals exempted from law criminalising wearing of faked military award medals

Today sees the probable introduction of the new “Walter Mitty” law, which will make it a criminal offence for any individual to pretend to...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

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