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Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt

Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a…

Maurice Oxford

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding…

Wrandle River

Donald Trump to present Steve Bannon with participation medal for service to America

“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot.…

Wrandle River

Bruce Forsyth’s inheritance to be shown on conveyor belt for family members to remember

If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they…

Liam Callaghan

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year old virgins

Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company,…

Francis Aston

Stephen Hawking’s next book titled A Brief History of C*nts

Stephen Hawking is well regarded as the largest living brain in Britain and someone whose…

Wrandle River

Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices

Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices…

Francis Aston

Sir Bruce Forsyth declared fit for work by ATOS

British television legend Sir Bruce Forsyth has died at the age of 89 of a…

Dick Turnip

A-Level students celebrate being just three years away from £30,000 debt and a zero-hours contract

Students across the country celebrated today as they received the exam results needed to springboard…

Anna Falaxis

So Mr Farage, what first attracted you to the white supremacist sympathising billionaire Donald Trump?

That was the question that Nigel Farage was asked by TV interviewer Mrs Morton and…

Francis Aston

Trump is said to be fuhrerious over comparisons with Adolf Hitler

Today the Trump Administration has struck back over comments alluding to Donald Trump resembling something…

Captain No

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary…

Richard Lowe

Australian MPs vote unanimously to make burka compulsory for Pauline Hanson

Former chip shop owner Hanson later complained that the decision proved conclusively the unwarranted discrimination…

Galatian

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding semi-automatic rifle

“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither…

Wrandle River

A-Level students share their entertaining delusions about making the world a better place

As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form…

Johnny Wapping

New series “Sovereign needs a wife” doubtful after no princesses apply for show

Anyone taking part in the production will need to be tolerant of mood swings, fertile…

Wrandle River