Heavyweight dance champion of the world Donald Trump had fighting words for his Korean challenger at today’s weigh in.
“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”
Kim, a lighter despot, is nonetheless expected to hold his own. Pound for pound, he is ranked #3 in the world, and says his time has come.
“The Donald, he think he the best. But we Kim, we’ve been working on our range. I fly to everything, whether it feisty hip hop like “I bomb your ass and eat your dog muthafuka” from our own N-Ko street rapper DMZ, or classic guzheng like Western lackey Xiao Ying’s Lotus (Hakka style).”
Trump laughed at this and said “Fuck Kim’s range. He’s messing with Team America now. He can’t reach me, shit he can’t even reach some little Japanese dude. And he try hit my brother Guam? He all talk.”
At this Kim got very angry and said he was going to tap dance on Trump’s head Guam-Nam style.
Meanwhile our very own Rochdale private dancer Simon Danczuk said he would be hosting a lock in at the famous Moorcock Inn, in Littleborough to watch the bout. Locals can stay up with Simon to watch the apocalyptic dance off, being entertained between rounds by Danczuk’s classic shoegaze shuffle and also live readings of poetry from his personal text message collection.
