Noel Edmonds has denied allegations that he is due to present a North Korean take on Deal or no Deal called, Meal or no Meal.

The show involves a single Korean contestant trying to beat the camp guard as they open 22 identical sealed red boxes in an order dictated by the Party. The boxes contain randomly assigned items that you find in North Korea such as a kernel of corn or wallpaper paste.

The person has to decide if the items can be used to make a meal or not. They can also make a deal with the camp guard to trade their box and a close relative for a bowl of rice.
Edmonds is alleged to have got the job presenting the show at Kim Jong Un’s behest. Kim is understood to have been a huge fan of Mr Blobby and even modelled his appearance on Blobby.

At the end of each game the person chooses between 2 boxes. One will typically contain food and the other will contain the bullet Edmonds will use the despatch them.

Edmonds was unavailable for comment as he believes his WiFi is poisoning him but a North Korean Government spokesman said, “Noel will be perfect for the role. He has the kind of ruthlessness that we will require. Also, we have taken Mr Blobby hostage and refuse to give him back until Edmonds complies.”

Whilst many people have criticised Edmonds he has found some support. The MP, Andrea Leadsom is alleged to have said, “It’s great to see a celebrity as high profile and well known as Noel flying the flag for Britain on the world stage. Vince Cable could learn a thing or two about loving his country from Noel’s example. Too many of our people talk this country down so this is a chance to show the Korean Government what we’re made of.

Noel may even be able to influence future trade talks with North Korea so that we may sell the Koreans weapons.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.